All the ways to holiday’s
Though most holiday’s bring with them an air of excitement and fun, they can be an especially sensitive time for blended families. In addition to added financial expenses, strained interactions with extended family, or crazy-busy schedules, blended families have to navigate parenting schedules and varying expectations between multiple household’s—among other challenges!
This last Christmas was especially tough for me. My ex-husband is Mexican and asked that the kids be allowed to join him in Mexico to spend the holiday’s with his family.
First, you should know something…Christmas is my jam.
Every inch of my house is decorated. We bake cookies, decorate gingerbread houses, wear matching pajamas, watch (too many) Christmas movies…the list goes on. I’m often the one hosting Christmas Eve dinner, and the first to agree to go caroling (in the middle of winter…in Minnesota).
I do my best to be a considerate co-parent and readily agreed that he and the kids should have this opportunity to travel, deepen relationships with their Dad’s family, and experience new adventures! However, as the time drew close to pack them up and send them on their way, I began feeling increasingly depressed. What was Christmas without kids to decorate the tree, open stockings on Christmas morning, or gorge on too many sweets?
Although a bit sad and lonely for me, I realized quickly that…it wasn’t about me. After navigating new household’s, new schedules, new relationships with their stepdad and stepsiblings, it wasn’t fair to deny them this amazing opportunity.
Instead, I forced myself to find ways to shift our holiday activities in an effort to include my kids without impacting their travel plans. I was forced to realize that there isn’t ONE way to celebrate the holiday’s. We could still do all the fun activities planned! Just at different times!
Regardless of the specific holiday or parenting scenario, placing your kids’ needs before your own is a powerful approach to ensuring the well-being of your kiddos! According to Dr. Donna Matthews in Psychology Today, “…it is crucial to prioritize the well-being of the children above all else. This means considering not only their immediate needs, but also their long-term development and happiness.”
Holiday stress starting to get to you? Stop and consider the source of your tension. Are you prioritizing your own needs/desires, or those of your kids? Sacrificing your own ideals of holiday-bliss doesn’t mean you have to give up on your family traditions! It might just mean you shift a bit!
*Looking for tips to navigate your blended family during the holidays? Check out this article by “My Nourished Home”.
Annual tradition: Matching Christmas pj’s!
